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The Drew Carey Show > season 1

Pilot
Episode 1

"Pilot"
Drews best friend Kate breaks up with her live-in boyfriend, who then fires her from her job as receptionist at his body shop. She pleads with Drew to hire her at Winfred-Louder, but he insists that he isnt supposed to give jobs to his friends. While conducting interviews for an opening in the cosmetics department, Drew meets Mimi Bobeck, a very hostile woman who wears a ton of make-up. Although Drew tries to be polite, Mimi realizes that he is not going to hire her. She throws a tantrum in the middle of the office and accuses Drew of discriminating against her because of her looks. She complains to his boss, Mr. Bell, and gets him into hot water. Drew runs into Mimi that night at his hangout, the Warsaw. When she confronts him, he says that her attitude is her biggest problem. He admits that her looks might prevent her from getting some jobs that rely on appearance, but suggests that she learn to deal with this--as he does. She does not take kindly to his advice. Kate applies for the job in cosmetics, but Drew worries that she will hate him when he inevitably has to fire her. The problem is taken out of his hands when Mr. Bell becomes smitten with Kate and orders Drew to hire her.
Added on January 1, 1970

Miss Right
Episode 2

"Miss Right"
Mr. Bell hires Mimi as his assistant to prevent her from filing a complaint against the store for Drews so-called "harassment" of her. She vows to make Drews life a living hell. While conducting interviews for the window dresser position, Drew develops a rapport with Lisa, an attractive applicant who engages him in friendly banter. She seems very interested in Drew. However, Lisa is the most qualified applicant for the job, and Drew fears that it would be improper for management to date an employee. She takes the initiative and asks Drew out, but they agree to avoid the appearance of a date. Mimi and some co-workers catch them kissing at the Warsaw. Drew decides that he wants to keep seeing Lisa, and will ignore what others think. Unfortunately, Mr. Bell tells him that his relationship with Lisa is making the staff uncomfortable. Drew has to break up with her so that she wont be fired. Meanwhile, Drew tries to deal with the antics of his redneck neighbors--including a man
Added on January 1, 1970

The Joining of Two Unlike...
Episode 3

"The Joining of Two Unlike Elements is a Mixture"
Kate grows depressed after attending another wedding shower at work, and realizes that most of the women in her class have married. She insists that she doesnt want a husband, but has always dreamed of her wedding day. The guys decide to cheer her by throwing a fake wedding for her and Drew, officiated by Lewis (in his Star Trek uniform). The guys speculate as to why none of them ever dated Kate. Drew tells Lewis and Oswald that he realized he would never have a chance with Kate after she changed her clothes in front of him without even realizing what she had done. As they ride in a limo after the "wedding," Drew mentions the incident to Kate and confesses that he had a huge crush on her in high school. Kate is surprised that he thought about her that way. Just as Drew suggests that they might have made a good couple, she breaks out into hives and has to go to the emergency room. Drew believes that she became physically ill at the mere mention of having a relationship with him
Added on January 1, 1970

Nature Abhors a Vacuum
Episode 4

"Nature Abhors a Vacuum"
Drew fires Suzie, an incompetent employee, only to learn that she had been involved with Mr. Bell. Drew worries about Mr. Bells reaction. Kate goes to Bell with the proposal that the store start a day spa to increase sales in the cosmetics department. Bell is very impressed with the idea, and wants to meet with Drew and Kate at the Warsaw to further discuss the proposal. However, Drew learns that Bell is really trying to make Kate his latest conquest. She insists that she can take care of herself, but needs some help from Drew when Bell begins hitting on her. After she leaves, a drunken Bell makes Drew stay at the bar and sing with him all night. He tries to force Drew to help him get a date with Kate. Drew re-hires Suzie so that Bell will leave Kate alone. He is unaware that Kate has already confronted Bell, who agreed to stop hitting on her and asked her to run the new spa. After Suzies re-hiring, he gives her the job instead. Kate realizes that Drew was just trying to h
Added on January 1, 1970

No Two Things in Nature...
Episode 5

"No Two Things in Nature are Exactly Alike"
Kates ex-boyfriend, Barry, refuses to come by and pick up his belongings. He begins calling her constantly at the store. Mr. Bell becomes so fed up that he issues an edict limiting employees to one personal call per day. Hoping to cheer up his co-workers, Drew attaches a cartoon to the bottom of the memo. It features a confused caterpillar trying to have sex with a french fry. Most of the employees are amused, but someone complains to Bell and gets Drew in trouble. He becomes obsessed with finding the identity of the offended person, and finally learns that it was Nora from payroll. Kate tries to talk to Nora. She ends up losing her temper and screaming at Nora, daring her to file a harassment suit. Kate has Barry meet her at Drews house to get his stuff because she doesnt want him in her house. He begs her to come back and becomes violent toward Drew. Drew stands up to him, and Barry decides to leave without a fight after Lewis and Oswald show up. Nora files a lawsuit a
Added on January 1, 1970

Drew Meets Lawyers
Episode 6

"Drew Meets Lawyers"
Winfred-Louders attorneys try to force Drew to settle the lawsuit and sign a waiver absolving the store of any responsibility for his actions. He refuses to do this, and insists that he will find another lawyer. He coaxes Kate into calling an obnoxious ex-boyfriend and asking him to represent Drew at a discount rate. She agrees to go out with the guy, but calls it off after he makes a disgusting pass at her. Drew cannot afford anyone else, and is turned down by legal aid because he isnt quite poor enough to fall within their standards. The store has workmen cover Drews cubicle with a tarp so that no one can see the cartoon, which he has posted on his wall. When the store attorneys again approach him about the settlement, Drew announces that he will represent himself. Oswald takes a liking to Drews lecherous neighbor, Peaches. She quickly decides to dump Oswald because she doesnt see him as long-term relationship material. She leaves a note with Drew, who instead tells Osw
Added on January 1, 1970

Drew in Court
Episode 7

"Drew in Court"
Drew prepares to defend himself in court. He tries to study legal books, and gets advice from other lawyers by calling up and pretending to quiz them. He signs his car and house over to Kate and Lewis so they cant be seized if he loses the case. The judge does not take kindly to Drews attempts to flatter her and create levity in the courtroom, and Kate isnt much help either. Nora breaks down in tears on the stand. A loud-mouthed co-worker, angry that the store has now barred employees from displaying personal items in their cubicles, harasses Drew at the Warsaw. Drew punches him out and gets arrested. He shows up in handcuffs for the final ruling in Noras case. Although the judge agrees that Nora was forced to look at sexually explicit material, she rules that the matter is trivial and did not create a hostile workplace.
Added on January 1, 1970

Lewis Sister
Episode 8

"Lewis Sister"
Lewiss sister, Janet, moves back to Cleveland with her ten-year-old daughter, Monica. Drew once had a crush on Janet and was briefly involved with her at summer camp. To commemorate his one-hundredth hiring, the store gives Drew three tickets to a Rolling Stones benefit concert at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Kate is not interested and Oswald has other plans. Kate suggests that Drew ask Janet to go with him. Lewis is adamantly opposed to this idea because he fears that someone will get hurt. Drew ignores Lewiss warning and takes Janet and Monica to the concert. He really likes Monica, who soon joins the store-sponsored basketball team that Drew and Kate are coaching. However, he finds Janet somewhat boring and clingy. Janet and Monica embarrass Drew by showing up at his desk with a picnic and singing about how great he is. Lewis warns Drew not to hurt his sister. When Janet shows up after basketball practice and suddenly proposes, Drew tells her that they should stop se
Added on January 1, 1970

Drew and Mrs. Louder
Episode 9

"Drew and Mrs. Louder"
Mrs. Louder, the elderly widow of the stores founder, asks Drew to lunch. She offers him a job as her personal assistant, with increased pay and a promise that he will be in line to become head of personnel. He isnt sure that he wants to change jobs, but fears that he will be fired unless he complies. Drew enjoys making connections within the corporate world, and is now allowed to date Lisa because he is no longer part of management. Drew and Lisa have a tryst in the restroom during the office Christmas party. Drew is demoted to his old job after Mrs. Louder catches them in the act. Meanwhile, Jules drives Drew crazy with his elaborate holiday lights display.
Added on January 1, 1970

Science Names Suck
Episode 10

"Science Names Suck"
Kate gets a new boyfriend and has less time to spend with Drew, Lewis and Oswald. The guys run into Jay Clemens, an old buddy from junior high school, at the Warsaw. He has recently gotten a divorce. They begin hanging out with him a lot. Kate breaks up with her boyfriend (after his carnival leaves town), and is furious to discover that Jay seems to have taken her place with the gang. He angers her further by giving her advice about her love life. After the guys side with Jay over Kate in a dispute over where to eat dinner, Kate refuses to talk to them and says that she will not go to Drews birthday party. Drew pleads with her to re-consider, but she only agrees to attend after he asks Jay to stay away. Kate arranges a surprise visit from baseball star Dave Winfield, mistakenly believing that he and Drew are old friends. Jay infuriates Kate by stopping by to drop off Drews gift. They talk things out in the kitchen and admit that they are attracted to one another. Drew is s
Added on January 1, 1970

The Electron Doesnt Fall...
Episode 11

"The Electron Doesnt Fall Far from the Nucleus"
Drews dad comes to town to accept a lifetime achievement award from his lodge, the Wildebeests. He encourages Drew to join the lodge and make connections that can help him find a better job. Drew isnt sure about the idea, but agrees to consider after Lewis and Oswald express an interest. A lodge member tells Drew that he has already gotten him three job offers. However, Drew is appalled to discover that most of the members are bigots, and that people of other races are excluded from membership. Drew issues an ultimatum to Mr. Bell, and manages to get a long-overdue raise. However, George still believes that Drew needs to join the lodge and find a better job. Drew proclaims that he is happy with his life, and doesnt understand why his father cant be more supportive. George insists that he is proud of Drew; he pushes him because he doesnt want him to one day look back and realize that he is dissatisfied with his life.
Added on January 1, 1970

Isomers Have Distinct...
Episode 12

"Isomers Have Distinct Characteristics"
Winfred-Louder employees decide to go on strike a few weeks before Christmas. Drew sympathizes with their plight, but must hire temporary replacements to keep the store going. He and Kate promise that they will not let the strike affect their friendship. However, this proves difficult when she learns that Mimi and Oswald are handling the cosmetics counter. Drew and an uneasy Nora must work in the lingerie department. The strike goes on for three weeks. After Kate is forced to take a job busing tables at the Warsaw, Drew decides that he can no longer tolerate the stores actions. He declares that he will walk the picket line. Seconds later, Larry announces that the strike is over. Oswald takes a job with a parcel delivery service. Drew and Lisa begin secretly dating each other.
Added on January 1, 1970

Drew and the Unstable...
Episode 13

"Drew and the Unstable Element"
Kate is annoyed by the behavior of Earl, a very weird man who works at the tie counter. She thinks that he is crazy. Drew insists that Kate is exaggerating, but finds that Earl is extremely volatile and delusional. He believes that he is the store manager. Drew looks over Earls psychological profile and discovers that he has been in numerous mental institutions. (He had written this information on the back of the page, and Drew failed to see it.) Drew fires Earl after he refuses to see the company psychiatrist. Earl threatens Drew and reveals that he knows his address. Lewis, Oswald, Kate and Jay keep Drew company and try to protect him. Kate asks Chuck, the stores security guard, to come over to check things out. Drew refuses Chucks recommendations and says that he will not live his life in fear. After everyone leaves, Earl comes over and claims that he wants to seek counseling. He actually plans to shoot Drew, but Chuck returns and apprehends him.
Added on January 1, 1970

Drew and Mr. Bells Nephew...
Episode 14

"Drew and Mr. Bells Nephew"
Mr. Bell offers Drew a promotion in exchange for training his nephew Blaine, whom Bell hopes will succeed Drew as assistant director of personnel. He isnt interested in doing any work, and forces Mimi to run all of his errands. Kate accidentally sells a giant perfume bottle--valued at $2000---for $150. Drew covers for her and tells her that she can pay back a little of the lost money each week. He reports the perfume stolen. Mimi overhears Blaine blabbing to his uncle about Kates screw-up. He suggests that Bell fire Drew for protecting her. Blaine also recommends that Mimi be fired. Drew and Mimi call a truce and work together to force Blaine out of the store. They try to make him look bad, but their plan fails. Blaine explains that he betrayed Drew because he thought that it was the only way to get the job. Drew blackmails Bell into firing Blaine by referring to his affair with Suzie. Drew and Lisa plan a rendezvous in the store after closing, but the presence of vicious
Added on January 1, 1970

There is No Scientific...
Episode 15

"There is No Scientific Name for a Show About God"
The store closes early because of an ice storm. Drew reluctantly agrees to carpool with the Optimists Club. However, he misses his ride when his computer suddenly catches on fire. The Optimists Club gets into an accident, and a man is killed. Mimi assumes that it is Drew and spreads the word around the store. Drew believes that divine intervention kept him out of the accident, and questions his purpose. He finds a note in an old bible in which he discussed his goals for the future. He decides to contact his pastor about becoming a minister. While the pastor is looking over Drews questionnaire, a woman comes into the church and mistakenly assumes that he is a minister. She is in a terrible personal situation and is experiencing money problems. The woman is angry to learn that Drew isnt the minister, but he offers her a job at Winfred-Louder. Drew fails the questionnaire, but comes to realize that he can help people in his current position.
Added on January 1, 1970

Drews New Assistant
Episode 16

"Drews New Assistant"
Drew is thrilled when Mr. Bell tells him that he can have a personal secretary. However, Bell is just dumping Mimi off on Drew so that he can hire Suzie as his own assistant. Drew and Mimi continue to bicker constantly, especially after she belittles him in front of an interviewee. Mimi throws a stapler at Drew and ends up breaking the window of Bells office door. Bell suspends Drew and Mimi and threatens to fire them unless they get their act together. Oswald and Lewis fill in on Jays moving crew. Drew tags along when they make a delivery to Mimis apartment and tries to talk with her. He finds a cabinet filled with photographs of him, and fears that Mimi is secretly in love with him. Drew gives Suzie a job in jewelry so that Bell will re-hire Mimi as his assistant. Mimi explains that she took the photographs of Drew to send to male prison inmates, but never went through with the prank.
Added on January 1, 1970

The Front
Episode 17

"The Front"
Mrs. Louder learns of Bells relationship with Suzie and orders him to fire her. A furious Bell responds with an edict threatening to fire any member of management who is caught dating an employee. This makes Drew and Lisa hesitant to continue their clandestine affair, especially after Mimi vows to catch them together and get Drew fired. Jay suggests that he and Kate could go on double dates with Drew and Lisa; Jay would pose as Lisas boyfriend, and no one would hassle Drew and Kate because they are known to be friends. The arrangement soon takes its toll on Kate and Jays relationship, as they can never have any time alone. When Mimi runs into the foursome at the Warsaw, she challenges Jay and Lisa to prove that they are involved by kissing. Kate is incensed when Lisa kisses Jay, but admits that she is mainly upset about not getting to see her own boyfriend. Drew and Jay nearly fight when Drew accuses him of making a move on Lisa and gets worked up about a girl that Jay suppos
Added on January 1, 1970

Playing a Unified Field...
Episode 18

"Playing a Unified Field"
Despite his protests, Lisa tells Drew that she is going to start seeing other people. She urges him to do the same. He asks out his hard-living barber, Sue. She takes him to a strip club (to meet her mother), and forces him to defend her honor to a pair of guys twice his size at the Warsaw. Worst of all, she takes a liking to Mimi and offers to do her hair. Drew fears that he will not survive much longer. Lisa calls and leaves a message saying that she has figured out a way for them to begin dating in public. Drew has to keep his last date with Sue, who is bungee-jumping from a water tower. He breaks the news that he wants to stop seeing her, and is relieved when she kisses him goodbye instead of killing him. Kate tells Drew that she has applied for a job as head of the personal shopper department. He promises to hire her. Just then, Lisa shows up and announces her plan. She wants him to hire her to head the personal shopper department so that they would both be management.
Added on January 1, 1970

Atomic Cat Fight
Episode 19

"Atomic Cat Fight"
Lisa and Kate are unhappy to discover that Drew has promised the job as head personal shopper to both of them. He decides that he will observe Lisa, Kate and Mimi shopping for three of the stores most difficult customers. He insists that he will judge them on their performance alone, and hopes that his decision will not affect his relationships with Kate and Lisa. Lisa does very well with her customer, and even fends off his attempts to hit on her. Kate finally gets her indecisive client to make up her mind by taking her out of view of the security cameras and threatening violence. Mimi ends up punching out her client, a woman who wants to dress like a pre-teen. With Mimi out of the running, Drew decides on the ultimate test to choose between Lisa and Kate. They must each outfit the most mean-spirited customer anyone could ever encounter: Mimi. Kate makes Mimi look good, but Mimi is embarrassed by the conservative outfit. Lisa dresses Mimi in an outrageous ensemble that she
Added on January 1, 1970

Drew and Kate and Kates...
Episode 20

"Drew and Kate and Kates Mom"
Kates mother takes Kate, Drew and Lisa out to dinner to celebrate Kates birthday. Kate does not tell her that she is seeing someone because her mother never approves of any of her boyfriends. Kate has led Jay to believe that her mother is in an institution. Lewis inadvertently tells him the truth, so Kate has to invite Jay to have dinner at her mothers house. Mrs. OBrien learns of Jays recent divorce and worries that he is on the rebound. She fears that Jay will hurt Kate, and asks Drew to try to convince Kate to stop seeing him. Kate panics when Jay has to break a date because of work, and pressures him about the future of their relationship. They wind up breaking up. Kate confronts her mother, who insists that she has been overlooking the perfect man: Drew. Kate is incredulous. The gang gets drunk at the Warsaw in an attempt to cheer up Kate. Drew and Kate ride around in a cab talking until the car gets a flat tire. Kate tries to kiss Drew, and suggests that they mi
Added on January 1, 1970

Drew Gets Motivated
Episode 21

"Drew Gets Motivated"
Winfred-Louder hires a motivational speaker in the hopes of increasing productivity and helping the store get out of its recent financial slump. The speaker, Tom, encourages Drew to come up with a great idea so that he will no longer be invisible to his bosses. Noting the stores stuffy image, he suggests making it seem more customer-friendly by hiring animal mascots. The board agrees, and has him work with advertising to produce a commercial featuring a bull and camel. The commercial is a rousing success. Mrs. Louder announces that he is hiring Drew as head of promotions and giving his old job to her nephew. Drew does not want to leave personnel, but has no choice. He must come up with more ideas every week or he will be fired. Drew struggles for another brainstorm, until finally suggesting that the animals make a personal appearance at the store. Unfortunately, they get loose from the elevator and invade the boardroom. Drew returns to his old job, where he helps Nora get so
Added on January 1, 1970

Buzz Beer
Episode 22

"Buzz Beer"
When an angry Mr. Bell throws a bunch of wadded-up papers at Drew and Mimi, they discover a secret memo announcing that a Dutch group plans to buy the store. Winfred-Louder has been struggling, so they assume that the Dutch want to fire everyone and build something else on the property. The gang goes to a small business expo and meets a man who sells equipment for home breweries. Everyone agrees to invest money in the venture, and Drew decides to take a chance and use his house to acquire a loan. He fears that he is doomed when they cannot come up with an idea. Lewis stays awake by drinking coffee between each beer tasting, and comments favorably on the taste. They decide to brew a coffee-flavored beer, which Oswald names Buzz Beer. A representative of the Dutch, Mr. Van Houten, visits the store and says that they are not firing anyone below management. They will decide who to keep from management on a case-by-case basis. He is impressed with Drew and asks him to stay. Mr. Be
Added on January 1, 1970